The Page About Wishes, Two Marriages, and Magic


I’m sure you’ve heard this saying before: “Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.”

There is a different version of this saying, by American writer Laurie Halse Anderson, which I like better: “Be careful what you wish for. There’s always a catch.” And I believe that the catch is in the “why”.

So, in this episode, I want to share with you two stories that were driven by two different whys and how they led to two completely different marriages.

Tune in on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or continue reading.

We had been dating for 4 years. It was our 5th, and last, year in college, and I started asking myself a question – what’s next? 

I had never been popular with the boys in middle or high school. In my first college year, I had only a few casual dates, and so when we started dating in our 2nd year, when I was finally in a real, serious relationship for the first time in my life, I was finally not feeling like a loser.

Finally, I felt like I was worthy of something. But now it was time to start thinking about marriage.

Our main group of college friends consisted of 4 people – the two of us and another couple. It was myself, my best friend Victoria, and our boyfriends who also happened to be best friends.

Victoria’s boyfriend was planning to move to Canada after graduation – his father was a marine biologist, he got a job in Canada and was planning to move his whole family. So, at the beginning of our 5th year in college, he proposed to Victoria, and of course, she said yes.

I had always seen Victoria as more beautiful, more successful, like she would always get what she wanted… I envied her and felt like I had to compete with her, like I had to prove that I am good too.

And when she got engaged, I felt immediate pressure to do the same. I mean, it was time!

My parents met and fell in love in college, and got married right after college. In my world, that was the best, or I should even say the only way to find your life partner. I knew I needed to get married, and I knew I needed to make it happen right after graduation. The idea of graduating and being single horrified me. I knew that if I was single once my college years were over, then I wouldn’t ever get married, and that would mean I was a loser.

I absolutely could not let that happen. 

I wasn’t being pragmatic about it – I was definitely in love. 

But the truth is…

I wasn’t asking myself all the right questions. Will my boyfriend and I make a good partnership in the long term? What does a good marriage look like? Do we see eye to eye on the essential topics that husband and wife will need to navigate together in their marriage?

I wasn’t asking myself any of these questions.

And not only because I didn’t even know that I was supposed to ask them – it’s like you don’t know what you don’t know, and I didn’t realize the importance of these questions until 10 years later.

But more importantly, I wasn’t allowing myself to question anything. I wasn’t letting even a spark of doubt in because, again, in my world that was the way things work – you start dating in college, get married after college, and then you live happily ever after. That’s how it’s supposed to be, period, no questions asked.

Listen to the full story on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Until next time,

Olena xx

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