How do you gain confidence stepping into the unknown and overcoming a fear of the unknown?
How do you become comfortable dealing with the uncomfortable?
In this week’s episode of the Spark Your Life podcast and this article, you’ll learn how to overcome a fear of the unknown with one simple practice.
But first, a story.
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO PREPARE FOR EVERY POSSIBLE SCENARIO
I recently spoke on another panel for my corporate job on the topic of confidence.
My company has a program called Manager University where you can learn to:
- develop executive presence
- develop hard and soft skills
- become better managers
- help other leaders grow
In this panel, the attendees could vote on their topic of choice. Confidence was in the top three.
It makes sense.
In a leadership role, the higher you climb, the more you’ll have to deal with the things that go wrong — when somebody messes up, clients are unhappy, or issues can’t be resolved by other teams.
The facilitator asked a very good question…
What do you think about the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it?”
Every time I hear this phrase, I feel an inner resistance.
I don’t like the way it sounds.
Until that moment, I wasn’t sure why. Now, it’s clear to me.
I DON’T LIKE THE EXPRESSION OF FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT
The idea of “fake it ‘til you make it” is all about embodying an image of yourself, a version of yourself you want to become.
It’s the basis for manifestation, why we create vision boards, and dream big dreams.
So, why don’t I like the expression?
Because it implies that you aren’t the version of yourself you’re trying to become.
You have to fake it to become that version.
So, it automatically means you lack something.
Why do we always have to think about things we don’t have? Why do we constantly focus on what we aren’t good at or where we need to improve?
Instead, why aren’t we focusing on what we are good at?
Why don’t we capitalize on what we have and maximize those skills?
This is exactly what the concept of Personal Strength is.
In my opinion, this is how you build confidence to face your fear of the unknown.
You have overcome every challenge you’ve faced to date because you’re here.
You solved problems, took the leap when needed, and have so much to capitalize on.
So, why don’t you lean on those skills you do have to build up confidence?
EMBRACE WHAT YOU HAVE
Be authentic and embrace the strengths that you do have.
You may have read about the concept of the cookie jar.
When you look back on your life, you can pick those moments out of the cookie jar where you:
- overcame challenges
- took a leap of faith
- overcame a fear
- felt proud of yourself
Collect those moments in a “cookie jar” so you can access them next time you step into the unknown.
It’s important to fill your cookie jar continuously.
You can access things from your past, but you’ll need to reflect on your day frequently, ask yourself what you did that made you feel strong, and add that moment to the jar.
Every day, you step into the unknown, so you’ll need to practice developing that skill.
There is no way to know how to deal with every possible situation that arises.
The only solution is to have that inner strength and belief that no matter what happens, you can handle it.
Once you build on that belief and collect those cookies, those strengths and moments…
Then, no matter what awaits you tomorrow, you will be able to deal with it.
You have already navigated hundreds and thousands of challenges in your life, so you can definitely handle the next one.
View every challenge as an opportunity to expand your horizons and learn something new.
YOU DON’T NEED TO FAKE ANYTHING
You don’t need to pretend to be somebody else. What you do need to do is be yourself and capitalize on what you already have and are already good at.
It’s going to make your life path easier. Not easy, but easier.
Challenges won’t miraculously go away, but you will feel the inner strength needed to navigate those challenges.
You have navigated all the challenges you’ve faced so far, so you can be sure to navigate any others that come your way successfully.
Look back on your life and see how much you’ve already accomplished, how strong you are, and how confident you are.
Remember that next time you’re faced with the unknown.
Never stop collecting your cooking. Every time you face a new challenge, pull out a “cookie” of a moment where you felt strong. Then, use that to overcome your fear of the unknown.
As always, if you have any questions, please send me a DM or an email. I’m here to support you on your journey.
Until next time,